goodbye, papa

 it's been a chaotic time, full of the sorts of things that fill this blog. but before the accounting of all the things resumes, we need to take several moments to talk about david's father. my children's papa. my own father in law. louise's husband. a man who served as a rock of stability, a beacon of kindness and warmth and love, a model of patience and calm. he died in august, and he was not alone when he died. louise was next to him, and him adult children and their own children had been with him and near him and murmuring to him for the majority of the 2 weeks leading up to his death. 

i really loved this guy. as a father in law, he was the best. he did not withhold warmth, love and kindness for me. he was so so so so so proud of his son david, and the beautiful kindness and love that passed so freely between father and son made me immediately certain that david would grow into the sort of man his father is, which frankly is the best sort of man there is. he kissed me right on my lips, once, right after david and i got engaged, and i've always appreciated that expression of welcome, so out of step with his usual greetings, and i've felt welcome by him forever. 

he was true to his beliefs, but never judged or ridiculed those who disagreed with him. he chose to interact with kindness and caring. i don't think i've ever heard his voice strain with the sounds of anger. he was so patient with his grandchildren, even when they were being annoying. 

jim was relentlessly and authentically curious. he always asked about our doings, our jobs, the news, school, and then always listened. he was the sort of person that google was made for...he took all his conversations, thought about them, and then headed to that computer to find out more. he was always finding out more. 

i am so proud to have a son named after him, and a husband made by and from him. jim will always stay close in this way. 

oof, he was a good one. he was a really good one. here's his obituary.